Relationships

Now, I use to be ALL for relationships, love, like, feelins, emotions. HOWEVER, is relationships now played out and just not worth ones time, efforts or lack of? Is it one sided now? All about just putting up with anything and denial?

It just seems as though relationships are over rated. Sometimes its just best to remain friends in order to avoid conflict then on the other hand, its always good to know that you have someone. So its not a win win nor a loose loose situation.

Its like all one can do is to just be themselves, stop or dont worry about other people (friends, etc) that want to pry, and focus on whats at hand or whats at stake. Also you have to do YOU first and far most. If the significant other does not understand then maybe they are just not for you, or maybe the timing is wrong. Who knows but it happens and it happens to ALL of us no matter who you are.

I'm just convenced at times that its all just what the society wants and that I'm a lonier and a lonier for a reason, so that I do not have to bring others into whatever I am doing or my feelings where they end up feeling a certain way when my other sides of me show. I never said that I'm a open book, I do NOT show my true sides at once and for damn sure to all people. Some just dont need to know and thats just how it is. Love it or hate it.

So in all, relationships are basically over rated just like being or getting married for the WRONG reasons. I, you, anyone else has to do YOU in order to be happy as no one else will and thats life.

A plan of some sort

So after the inside info from work. I believe that I have finally came up with a plan for myself. Of course going back to school (praying that I can), using the jobs reimbursement. Graduate after the two course, then continue on to my Masters. In the meanwhile, I will take the leadership courses via my employer educational site that my boss will set up thats really for managers and supervisors and go from there. Giving them 1.5 to no more of 2yrs to see if things change for the good. I believe that my boss/manager wants me in a higher position with raise thats not analyst mode, but supervisor status. I am all for it and ready as something good has to give.

Rant vent

So again, my hope was let down. I was told last year that I would get a promotion to Production Control Analyst as I continue to work hard, proceed with successfully completing time sensitive task and projects in order to show or prove myself that I was worthy for the position. NOW 2yrs later I am told by my boss who worked hard for me to get whats rightfully due to me, that the upper management decided to go outside the company and also restructure everything. Meaning that there is no room for growth nor advancement in my direct department. Its like we/I are looked down upon. When it is us who does the most work for IS/IT. BUT the help desk is a higher pay grade than us. (who btw: does not do anything close to what we do).

Its just a slap in the face. Total frustration at its highest right now. I guess thats why God showed me earlier this week or last week to go back to school to finish the last two courses and graduate. NOW I will have start over as a 'beginner alumni' in the job searching pool.

However, I have already begun setting goals for myself. Such as obtaining my degree FINALLY and then of course job searching and hoping for the best for another decent paying and decent environment job/career by Spring '12.

So we shall see. I can only pray for the best and prepare for the worse. But maintain an positive outlook on my life right now.   

Going back in time

Yeah pretty much I came to realize that some things I have done in the past, well I'm seeing myself going back to them... positive things though. Such as me attempting to get back into yoga. But of course when you look for something, you can not find it. Thank goodness we have the internet, and I was able to find the yoga cards. I found my book though. 

Anyhow, another thing is food, shopping, etc. Going back to my old ways, getting what I need and not worry about anything anymore. Which is basically doing whats best for me, which is what it all should be right.

So we shall see how this all will play out. Until next time... Tis all

A start

As this is not my first time blogging (I use too in the past almost daily via myspace and another site that I just can't recall), I would like to say welcome to my new blog.

They say writing your feelings and thoughts are good for the soul. Well I personally feel that its good for my sanity these days. My first blog on here I guess should be just a tad bit about me. I am a 30 year old, intelligent black women that has accomplished a lot. I have been working with my company going on 9yrs. I have my own business (even though obtaining an official business license has become a nightmare as the county gov LOST my application), I am a homeowner (which almost lost), in a committed relationship, have potential serious health issue, and an entrepreneur as I am working on e-businesses that I have going for myself. Yes, I am a hustler. Attempting to regain my financial stability. I am holding down two households and not sure how I am doing all of this without going crazy or committing suicide. I guess I am stronger than what I assumed.

I say all of this to give my readers a background up front so that in the near future there will be understanding on what I blog.